Too many times we allow workplace stress to be the catalyst for our unhappiness. The daily grind can affect not just us, but also our family.

When our forefathers wrote the Declaration of Independence and penned the words that we “have the inalienable rights to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness,” they unwittingly condemned us to the Pursuit of Happiness.

Just think about it – how many times in our lives have we pursued happiness?

When we were in middle school, we thought we would be truly happy and cool when we reached high school.

• Or when we got a partner;
• Or got a car;
• Or got to college;
• Or got the job…

Well, you get the drift.

Do you remember the time you bought that new car? How happy did it make you feel?

Yes, you finally got the resources lined up, maybe years of hard work, all paid off, and you drove off with the new car! My point is, you don’t have to wait to get that car to feel happy.

Every day leading to it, and every day after it, you have reasons to choose to be happy, or unhappy.

It should be no different with your spouse—your wedding should not be the happiest day of your marriage.

Workplace Stress – Does it Dictate Our Happiness?

Happiness is something we are or we are not, and we are in charge of that!

Yes, granted, we get momentary satisfaction from achieving a goal, or despair when we experience workplace stress, but it is our responsibility to realize that the change that has brought this about should not dictate the long term well-being and happiness of our lives.

“Change is inevitable, but personal growth is optional.”

So how do we overcome workplace stress?

First of all, you’ll need to acknowledge that workplace stress can cause a significant setback in your life, depending on how YOU choose to deal with it.

Every day of your life you have 2 options

1. You CHOOSE to be CURIOUS about learning from the situation, looking for the positive, and how to make the best of it.

2. You choose to blame your spouse, your boss or the Universe, and go down a spiral of hatred, despair and self pity.

Think about it! When we pursue happiness, it is like something we can never catch, it is always just out of reach. It is like “losing weight;” if you lose it, you always run the risk of finding it back (a better phrase would be to “get rid of weight”).

And so it is with happiness – It is a personal feeling, and it is different and unique for each and every one of us:

It took me decades to understand how my close friend Richard could “settle” at the age of twenty-one.

He had the whole world in front of him, but he was happy to accept what he had and not aspire for more. It was totally unfathomable to me. But now, as I look back, I realize how many sacrifices I have made to get to where I am.

The friends I left behind, the long hours, the tough layoffs during downturns, the toll it has taken on my wife and children—could I have been happy settling down at?

The answer is a categorical NO!

But who am I to judge Richard? He chose a path different from mine as night is from day, but I am willing to bet that he has had every chance to be just as, if not happier than, I am.

It is my sincere hope that when you are done with this collection of thoughts that I opened a window to help you see clearly that happiness is not dependent on change. Happiness is a state of mind that exists despite the changes, whether good or bad, that push your life forward.

Workplace stress: Your Happiness Should Not Be Change-dependent.

I just finished watching the movie “A Dog’s Purpose,” in which the “hero” Ethan, gets admitted to Michigan State on a full ride football scholarship, but is seriously injured in a fire and loses the scholarship. As a result, he sees his dreams evaporate and beaks up with his girlfriend and leads an embittered life.

Change came in the form of fire and injury and the subsequent loss of his scholarship. His girlfriend was standing by him but he wanted no pity or handouts and chose anger over happiness. The choice seems natural, but it need not be so.

His choice was NOT to grow from the experience, and thereby finding refuge in anger and self-pity.

Remember: We always have a choice.

When I lost my eyesight, I certainly had all those feelings, and many more. Some of us can pull ourselves out fast, others take a bit longer, but it is our job to pull ourselves out. How, you ask?

Instead of suffering from workplace stress, you could choose to be curious about what happened:

• Could you have avoided it?
• Can you prevent it from happening again?
• What do you have to change and do differently?

If the damage is done and irreversible, well then—it is done and is irreversible! Move on. But be curious about how you can grow from the experience.

Remember: You are the only one responsible for how the world perceives you—starting with you!

So, the next time you experience workplace stress, think of the Declaration of Independence. Be a little bit dyslexic and think of us as having “the inalienable right to life, liberty, and the happiness of the pursuit!”

Do you agree with my thoughts? What was your biggest life challenge, and how did you overcome it? You can learn more about my personal change and the pursuit of happiness in my book “Blind Spots: How to Embrace Curiosity, Disruption, and Imagination to See Yourself as a Change Agent.”

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Andrew Van Hall, Professional Speaker, Curiosity Instigator & Author.