When I went blind, and massive change came to my life, I had two choices:
- Live in denial, retreat into a world of self-pity, doubt, and anger and thereby curse the darkness
- See myself as a change agent, light a candle and follow the path of light, meaning I had to get curious about the alternatives.
I had to learn humility, and accept the new reality, but not settle down with it! I had to fight, I had to work, I needed the support and help of governmental organizations, my work team, my wife and friends, to create a new reality.
What are the changes confronting YOU?
- That new boss;
- The merger that terrifies you;
- A new spouse or child;
- Or a scary diagnosis?
None of these changes should determine whether you are happy or not. Happiness is a state of mind, not a condition of the environment.
Eskimos can be happy in the coldest of conditions and a terminal patient can be happy with a life well lived.
The point is that WE choose how to feel, we choose what fights to fight, and we choose when to give in.
If we accept that “change is inevitable, personal growth is optional,” what do YOU choose to do?
1. Live in a world created for you by others;
2. See yourself as a change agent and shape the world to suit your needs?
I love the old story of the plumber wrapping up at the customer’s home. He announces, “That’ll be three hundred dollars.”
“Three hundred dollars!” exclaims the homeowner. “I am a brain surgeon, and I can’t get that for tenminutes of work, let alone in cash!”
“I feel your pain,” responds the plumber, “it was the same for me when I was a heart surgeon.”
For whatever reason, the plumber gave up his career as a heart surgeon to become a plumber.
What will you have to give up, or choose to give up to become happy and fulfilled?
What compromises will you have to reach, how many options will you have to explore, before you “find the way”?
Success VS Failure – The Choice is Yours
Regardless of the difficulty of the change, you do have options. The choice is yours. If the doctor tells you that you will die in six months, you have many choices on how to live those final months:
- Fight to find a cure?
- Check things off your bucket list?
- Wallow in self-pity and retreat from the world?
- Be a beacon of light to the people around you?
Here’s another personal example that demonstrates our own responsibility for our success or failure:
Some years ago, I took an Uber Black to go to an appointment.
My driver, Hamid, was a very pleasant man with an immaculate car. He opened the door for me, graciously greeted my guide dog, offered me a bottle of water, and we quickly engaged in conversation.
I found out that he owns a small limousine company. He has three town cars and a stretch. When Uber came to town, he was angry and worked within his community to do all he could to block their entry into our market.
But one day, one of his drivers suggested he get an Uber account. He thought the idea was ridiculous and was incensedthat the driver had the gall to suggest it.
His wife, though, challenged him to consider the idea. He decided to do it, and as a result, he reported, his business tripled. Yes, the margins were smaller, but his net income had grown.
He had to get curious and listen to his employee, listen to his wife’s input, and be humble enough to give it a try. None of these steps came easily to him, but he had the guts to create the world around him, and not be rolled over by a change he could not stop.
Hamid decided to become a change agent, and so can you.
See Yourself As A Change Agent – You CAN Be Happy, If You Choose To Be.
The shame is that too many times we wait too long. Our boss tells us that we need to change our behavior, there are obvious new competitive stresses in the market, we don’t feel as well as we used to.
But we hope it will all be temporary, hunker down, and continue to do what we always did. And then, we find ourselves fired, our product sidetracked by a new, better product, or our cancer too advanced to do anything.
Here’s some actionable advice to help you see yourself as a change agent and win over any difficulties that come your way:
- You are not defeated, until you decide you are defeated. I love the hospitality industry, and if I had to start my life all over again, I would probably choose it all over again. So losing my job, after losing my eyesight, was devastating. But, thanks to my wife Nancy, friends, and my innate curiosity, I was able to start a new career as a speaker…and am LOVING IT!
- The world is not the way it is…it is the way you can make it. Your happiness is NOT dependent on your job, your marriage or the size of your home – It is a state of mind.
- Learn to assess, rather than judge your situation. Stop allowing outside forces to dictate how you feel. Realize that YOU are in charge of your destiny.
- Challenge yourself to spending a few minutes every day, on your way home from work or in bed to think, “How have I made a difference today?”
See yourself as a change agent by using a different twist in our Declaration of Independence, that “we have the unalienable right to life, liberty, AND THE HAPPINESS OF THE PURSUIT!”
